GAZING

I am going to create an space that is filled with eyeballs. I want my audience feel uncomfortable that be watched by someone. Then they leave this space and walk into next room. There is a small box in middle of the next room. They can see the scene through a hole on the box. The box is also full of eyeballs. At that moment, angle of thinking changed that their eyeball will become one of eyeballs in the last space.

I also need feedback from my audience, keep going do yourself in that atmosphere or can not move under gazing.

I made an sample that I can see does it work and how to improve it.

NOT KNOWING!

I visited a doll designer's solo exhibition in Japan. The designer’s name is Mari Shimizu and the atmosphere of the exhibition shocked me.Although It is negative , dark, and dazzling, it is also enjoyable, I was deeply attracted by it.For a while I've been thinking about the difference between what I want to do next and what I need to do.As you know, I choose the female theme because of my personal experience.I feel the negative social energy pressed on women.

I hope this semester I can build my own atmosphere like Mari Shimizu does. I already have an idea coming from the chapter of GAZING in previous year. Despite of common perspective, no matter how art works emphasizes the feminism , they are unable to ignore the male perspective. At one point I choose the study of feminism and continues the study, but sometimes I will think that as I never heard anyone calling for male chauvinism, then the whether the feminism itself will strengthen the patriarchal impression again? The females obtain their rights under the gaze of male, and but are still not aware of it.

Do women also deny their feminine image and place themselves in a negative and weak position? Is the so-called Feminism also under the governance of men’s view? Does the real equality in between men and women exist or not?

Carrying these questions, I begin to particularly pay attention to daily dialogues and phenomena. 

The father taught the son at his childhood that crying equals to weakness and feminine behavior. And the son received the message that “women are the weak while I’m not; I’m a man so I’m powerful”. What is worth more reflection from us is that, a mother would have said the same thing under this same situation.

When men grow up, father will often encourage son like “stand straight and be a man”. “Be a man” once again directly confirms men’s status. What’s also worth attention is, the mother or even the son’s girlfriend will say the same thing at this occasion. Our grandmas, mothers and girlfriends all grew up under the governance of men’s view. Even if they often yelled for equality between male and female, but unconsciously they also became the promoters of patriarchal society.

Regardless of the intensive discussion of issues like male-female equality, I believe the same problem exists widely in many vulnerable groups, such as elderly people living alone, low-income people, sex workers and so on. I think everyone can get inspiration from my studies.

I want to express the feeling in sculpture. I want to use sculpture to build the atmosphere that we cannot escape from .

I also need feedback from my audience, keep going do yourself in that atmosphere or can not move under gazing.

A few weeks ago, I was still thinking about could audience get accurate dark. Will it be like David Lynch? Serious anddark? Or like Quentin Tarantino as simple and crude?

But from my perspective, I want to express that someone gazed at your face in darkness like thriller.
They are different dark between Cult movie and thriller. The sex and violence in some movie like Quentin Tarantino's are also dark for me. I still have no accurate answer of dark and actually there's no only answer.

I know exactly what I want to do, but I do not know how to do it best.

I have to say NOT KNOWING gave me a great help that “Just do it” is the best answer.

So I m going to start making. I must find my dark in processes.